I’ll be honest, I don’t understand it.
I don’t understand how you can care so much about someone and put so much effort into a friendship with someone and have them completely forget about you. I guess it’s something completely different when you never reached a true closeness, but when you did, and you’ve confided in each other information you would never share with anyone else, does that not count for something?
Are friends like that not supposed to care about each other when one changes their atmosphere? Are they just supposed to move on? While I understand and never expect to speak with someone all the time, what happened to nightly conversations where your day was shared and whatever thoughts crossed your mind? What happened to random silliness? Did you get too old for that?
I never expected anything more than a friendship, but I at least expected the same friendship we had. Maybe I’m just insane, but I enjoyed spending time with you, and I enjoy talking to you. You were the one person who I can always trust, who would always help. But these past fews weeks, I have not confided the same amount of information because we rarely talk. When we do, who wants to talk to someone already in a bad mood? I know you well enough that you would not.
I wish I could have asked for help as I struggled with my grandpa being sick and now with his recent death, with school and how calculus discourages me every day, with stress of getting into college and being discouraged from art, with family issues, or even just feeling a little numb and empty. I don’t want to burden you. I know you help others with work, so what are my minuscule problems that you probably couldn’t or wouldn’t want to do anything about?
I know we’ve both changed as humans beings, and we continue to change as we grow up. Out of all things, I never thought our friendship would. I know I am the only one who thinks this and even notices it, but it really sucks losing a friend, especially one life you.
I guess I can only hope you come back. As much as I hate it, I understand. You were always so much more important than me anyways. I hope you are happy and will always be happy.
I miss you and will always.